Let me be the first to say how much my life has improved since investing in my bed with TV. Before that then I spent too much time simply lying in bed and staring at the ceiling. This happens no more.
I would not say that I have developed square eyes – more sort of sleepy ovoid eyes. Like an alien – sort of. The first thing I do when I wake up is get the tv lift in my foot-board lifting - the flat screen TV slowly rises like a sun upon the horizon rising above the Serengeti. Well – like a little leather clad gadget rising above a feather duvet. I fluff up my memory foam pillow and amaze myself at the custom beauty that surrounds me. The visions of daytime television that dance before my eyes like sugar plum visions of generic niceness! The blandness of the presenters does nothing to detract from the fact that I do not need to ever actually get out of my bed.
By about 10.am then I am ready to start the DVDs – I might perhaps have made a little visit to the bathroom prior to this point – but excusing that then I can just stay put in my comfy-zone.
As an aside I am seriously considering getting a catheter so that even the bathroom breaks are no longer required! From that moment on all I will need to do is make sure that the pizza delivery boy can find his way into my bedroom. I will become the king of the kingsize lord of the double.
Right now as we speak I am searching for an online date that is willing to come and spend some quality time alongside and on top of me as I lie back and relax …. so bring ti on and bring her in.